


Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?

by Erensbyotch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: "love you goodbye" by one direction was the prompt so yeah, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Levi's POV, M/M, Stream of Consciousness, no dialogues just levi's thoughts, song structure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 18:58:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7000519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erensbyotch/pseuds/Erensbyotch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>( it should have been a "merry christmas" gift. I guess it's slightly late. ) </p><p>Erwin is leaving him.<br/>Erwin is leaving him because he can't leave Marie.<br/>And Levi hates her.<br/>But more than that, he needs Erwin to stay.<br/>Or at least, to love him goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?

**_Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?_ **

 

 

Levi wants this to stop. He can't think, he can't breathe. Everything is _so wrong_. He knows what is going to happen, and he knows he doesn't have the strength to face it.

 

Levi Ackerman is probably the strongest soul on Earth. He's been through a lot, a fucking lot. He's been through childhood abuse, he's been through the death of both his parents. He thought he could endure everything and even more.

 

But now, he doesn't even have the courage to look at the man in front of him, to look at his face and his beautiful, sad eyes. He doesn't want this to happen, even if he knew. He knew this day was coming, he'd known from the very first day it all has begun.

 

After all, it was inevitable. It is always inevitable that everything that's good comes to an end, even when nobody wants it to. Levi _knows_ that Erwin doesn't want this to end. He is more than certain, he's seen the love in the german's eyes when they used to wake up, side by side in those lazy sunday morning, when they could be nothing else but themselves. When he used to get up first, and make pancakes for both, and sometimes coffee, because Erwin loved coffee but at the same time he didn't. Levi can't believe that something so clichéd could turn out to be so important at his eyes.

 

But how could he not think of every moment spent together, every kiss they shared, every night they had, when Erwin is so clearly trying to _leave him_?

 

He's not ready to say goodbye to the love of his life. Those words force a bitter smile to his otherwise stoic face.  It's the first time Levi allows himself to think of Erwin like this. Curious how this is happening right when everything is falling apart, but maybe is just how the story of his life goes.

 

Erwin's mouth  is open. He's probably saying something, how he doesn't want to hurt him, how he still deeply and wholeheartedly cares. But Levi can't hear a single word. He's too focused on those lips moving, on how just the day before they were moving _against his own, against his skin, loving him._ His mind can't believe that those lips are never going to touch him again.

 

Maybe he could kiss him. Maybe he could touch him so desperately that Erwin can't do anything but comply, holding him with his strong and perfect hands.

 

Levi loved how perfectly-shaped he was. But not just in general, no. Every inch of Erwin seemed as if it was made to complete Levi's, to cover him, to hold him. To never make him feel alone again.

 

And yet there he is. Leaving him, because what they had was never right. Levi knows, he's known all along that for everyone else, them being together was a crime, was something horrible. But he never felt that way, and he doesn't know. Levi knows he's heartless. He thinks he should care about her. But every time he thinks of Erwin's wife, the only thing he feels is disdain. Because she's selfish, because she won't leave him the man to whom he belongs, and who belongs to him. She's the plus one, the nuisance. Not him, never him. Even Erwin told him so, although with other, kinder words.

 

And Levi still can't understand why Erwin is doing this. Doesn't he want them to be together? Wasn't he happy with him? Is he happier with _her_?

 

Levi is sure he hates her. He's an awful man and he hates her. But he doesn't care, because maybe he's just as selfish as Marie is. He just wants Erwin for himself. He wants to be happy, he _deserves to be happy._ But the taller man doesn't seem to understand it.

 

Erwin is saying he doesn't want to lose him forever, that maybe they could still be friends. Levi laughs, because there's nothing else he could do. They can't be friends. They can't sit around a table, chatting, talking with Marie about the weather, about the food. How could they do it, knowing how tenderly they made love when she was gone?

 

Levi takes a moment to study Erwin, to keep him with him like a handprint on his mind. He could never forget him, not when they had the whole world in their hands, even when it was a love no one else could understand. He wants to taste every last second of him, as much as he can. It's not the first time he's forced to say goodbye, but this one really hurts.

 

It's in this moment that he notices the green pearl necklace hanging from Erwin's neck. It's the necklace he gave him, the first and only gift Levi ever made him.

 

_So you're wearing that to walk out of my life._

 

Oh, damn if it hurts. Levi can be humanity's strongest, but now he just feels weak. And empty, even if he's never going to show it, even if nobody will ever know. Even if Erwin will never know.

 

Now, while he's talking, Erwin is playing with the necklace. He notices him staring at it, and smiles. He says how much that jewel means to him, how it will always stay with him. How he could never forget Levi, in this life or the other.

 

But he's not making him feel better. He's just twisting the knife, he's just making it harder and harder for him. Erwin needs to stop. He needs to walk away right now, because otherwise Levi doesn't think he could stand it.

 

But Erwin doesn't walk away. He stays, he keeps on talking. He looks like he doesn't really want to leave.

 

So Levi asks him to stay. To stay just for one last time, because he doesn't want this to end this way. Levi Ackerman never cared about anything in his life. But he cares about this. He cares about Erwin Smith, about what Erwin Smith and he have. And he knows it's the only thing he will ever care about.

 

So he just asks him. Because he's not ready to see Erwin walk out of his life. Not while wearing those broken eyes. Not while wearing his necklace.

 

Just one more taste of those lips, that's all Levi needs. One last reminder of all the nights they had, one last chance to feel what he knows they could never feel again. One last chance to be happy, for he thinks he deserves it. They both deserve it.

 

And Erwin stays, so at least they can end it right.

 

_Oh, but why was he wearing that to walk out of his life?_

**Author's Note:**

> I am so late for this. Jeez, I'm so so so /so/ late for this.  
> I know Christmas' been gone for a while, but I guess it's the gift that counts, right?  
> This work goes, of course, to my beautiful queen of trash and waifu @jeanGRANDE  
> It's my first time writing for the snk fandom, especially Levi and Erwin. I hope you guys liked it just as much as I enjoyed writing it. (and, whynot, maybe got a little emotional?? after all, that's what angst is for) <3  
> [ the prompt is from "Love you Goodbye" by One Direction. ]


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